7-4-21 - Sound of Softness

 Sound of Softness

IDEA - 7-4-21

by

Patrick Ryan

Scientists have finally figured out how to create a tone that instantly erases a man's erection. The possibilities are limitless; a woman could carry a small box in her purse and use it to immediately eliminate a man's erection when confronted with a dangerous situation. The reaction was so visceral that a man's penis would physically move back into his body, averting a potential rape. Scientists discovered the tone by accident, combining the sound of a woman asking a man to run errands on his only day off with the sound of a baby crying at 2 a.m., and then mixing it with the sound of a man's home bar being converted into a walk-in closet that only holds shoes. All of these sounds were combined into a tone and silently played like a dog whistle, instantly reversing blood flow from a man's penis back into his body. As with any new technology, its initial application saved hundreds of lives and kept thousands of situations from spiraling out of control. It was hailed as the most brilliant invention since the brassiere. However, the technology, like everything else, was overused. Jealous girlfriends would sit in a car outside a man's office, pressing the button every 10 minutes to ensure they weren't cheating at work. If a woman was not in the mood one night, she would repeatedly press the silent tone to avoid the deed. A feminist band with a very catchy tune predicted to be the song of the summer decided at the last minute to insert the tone under the music and lyrics. When the pop song became as popular as they had predicted, the following months became the Summer of Impotence instead of the Summer of Love. Even though most people thought the tone was harmless, scientists could never have predicted the consequences of overuse of the tone. The human population dwindled. Five years later, every kindergarten in the country would have only ten students per class. Some men were unable to get an erection ever again because the tone was a constant humming in the background of their lives. Scientists studied the effects on the city of Los Angeles and discovered that the sound of softness was more significant than traffic. Many women left their men and became lesbians because their significant others could no longer get an erection. Millions of men fled to abandoned islands off the coast of Papua New Guinea, where the tone was negligible. The islands were the only place where these men could now live in peace with their erections.