7-7-21 - Smart Getaway

 Smart Getaway

IDEA - 7-7-21

by

Patrick Ryan

Lori, Courtney, and Antonetta sit in a stolen Smart Car across the street from a Federal Reserve Bank in Boston, Massachusetts.

"Are you sure about this?" Lori inquires.

"I've seen my boss use it a thousand times; you just put in the address, and the car goes where you want to go," Courtney confirms.

"When does the car have to be returned?" Lori asks.

"I told him I'd detail it at lunch and get it back to him by 2," Courtney responds.

"All right, Antonetta, did you get that?" Lori questions. 

"Get what, huh?" Antonetta remarks as she regains her focus.

"Listen, all you have to do is input the location for the drop, then enter the address for Courtney's work, the car does the rest," Lori says as if she's talking to a child.

"Oh, I don't know about this; I'm not good at technology. I once attempted to book an Uber and inadvertently ordered quinoa salad from a Buffalo restaurant," Antonetta says.

"How can you even get a salad from Buffalo in Boston?" Lori asks.

"Didn't you see it was wrong?" Courtney follows-up.

"You're telling me, I hate quinoa!" Antonetta exclaims. 

"Look, you're the only one who can help us. Lori and I need to get back to work as soon as possible to establish our alibis, or else everyone will find out that we were involved. Are you certain you can handle this?" Courtney questions.

"It'll be fine; it took me a day to get to Buffalo, but I added soy sauce on the salad, and it tastes exactly like rice," Antonetta explains.

"You actually picked up the salad?" Lori asks.

"Regardless, are you comfortable entering these addresses into the car or what?" Courtney interjects.

"Easy breezy, CoverGirl, by the time you walk out of that bank, I'll have this thing locked up," Antonetta adds confidently.

Lori and Courtney exit the car, their confidence rattled and their eyes rolling.

"She's not going to actually lock the car, is she?" Courtney asks.

"Nah, it'll be fine," Lori assured.

Antonetta reclines in the Smart car and examines all of the controls. She pulls out the piece of paper that Courtney gave her and taps the directions button on the enormous screen. Antonetta nods and smiles, pleased with herself. She begins to type the first address, 127 Fountain Street, Boston, MA, and the screen instantly populates with possibilities for her to choose from. Antonetta panics for a moment but then realizes that this is a smart car that can probably read her mind. Antonetta chooses the first one, 127 Fountain Street in Washington, DC. 

"Dang, this is a lot easier than Uber," she confidently says as she overlooks the city input.

Suddenly, the bank's alarm goes off, and Lori and Courtney depart, carrying duffel bags full of cash. They rush to the Smart car, pull off their wigs and masks, unlock the back door, and toss everything on the backseat.

"Okay, you got this? Lori inquires.

"Sure, sure, 127 Fountain, that's where I'm headed," Antonetta says with a wink.

Lori and Courtney begin to walk in the opposite direction as the car accelerates down the street. Unbeknownst to everyone, the bank manager glances at Lori and Courtney while loading the cash bags into the Smart car. He writes down the license plate number, and when the cops arrive, he gives them all the information he has. 

Antonetta relaxes as the car enters the highway. 

"It will be 7 hours until you arrive at your destination," the car says.

"Damn, I guess they want to cover their tracks. I might as well take a nap while this car does its thing," Antonetta remarks.

The police have caught up to the Smart Car traveling along the highway a few miles away. The cops signaled for a stop, but  Antonetta was fast asleep in the driver's seat. The police follow at a safe distance, afraid of causing an accident; they also believe that it will lead to the driver's accomplices wherever it goes. Antonetta's phone is continually vibrating in the car. Lori and Courtney attempt to contact her as the Smart car is now making national headlines as it is involved in a high-speed chase with police. A news van obtains a close-up of Antonetta drooling on the luxurious leather seats. 

By the time the car arrives in New York City, the cops have had enough and have decided to take drastic action. They want to run the vehicle off the road, but as they do so, the car executes evasive maneuvers, and two police cars end up in the Hudson River. 

Antonetta is startled awake by the time the car reaches Philadelphia. She glances down at her phone and sees that she has 57 messages, and then she looks behind her to find that she is being pursued by at least 15 police vehicles, a couple of news vans, and a traffic helicopter. The car has an indication that shows it needs to be charged. 

"Would you like to go to this charging station?" it asks.

Antonetta looks behind her and thinks to herself, 

"well, I'm sure these people will just wait as you charge."

Because the car has speech recognition, it responds to Antonetta's question, 

"would you rather deploy the solar panels instead?" 

Antonetta is perplexed as she looks around the car. She unlocks the glove box, checks under the passenger seat and beneath the steering wheel. 

"Sure," Antonetta says, unsure.

"No problem, I was watching you sleep; I'm delighted you were able to get some rest," the car replies.

"Hey, car man, if we need to lose the tailgate party behind us and get somewhere safe, would you be able to do that?" Antonetta asks.

"Not a problem, using evasive maneuvers... Now!" the car exclaims emphatically.

Antonetta is driven back into the driver's seat while not wearing her seatbelt; wide-eyed, the car does stunt driver-level turns and maneuvers. The Smart car can successfully evade police cars, news vans, even traffic helicopters. Antonetta panics and cries, "stop!" as they travel at 90 miles per hour on Philadelphia's side streets.

Antonetta flys forward, smacking her head severely against the steering wheel, as the Smart vehicle comes to a stop. She collapses and bleeds from her head. The Smart car says, 

"step one, evade the police, completed. Step two, go somewhere safe; Mexico has been chosen; begin."

The Smart car travels 3000 miles with Antonetta practically dead in the driver's seat. It arrives at the border crossing and pulls up with Antonetta, bloodied and passed out in the driver's seat. 

"Credentials?" the border agent inquires confused.

"Danger identified, never stop till safe!" says the Smart Car.

The Smart car makes its way through the border crossing by crashing through the gate. Some believe that the car is still cruising around the back roads of Mexico years later, with Antonetta still in the driver's seat trying to figure out how to work this technology.