IDEA - 9-30-2020
by
Patrick Ryan
1,665 Words
When you're young, you've got an idea of happiness, an idea of a good time, and an idea of what friends are; when you grow older, you start entering the "I would, but ..." stage of life. I would have a drink on Thursday night, but I've got to work on Friday morning; I would be with a different girl every night, but that costs too much money; I would help you move, but you just call when you need something. This realization occurs quickly; maybe it's the added responsibility of adulthood, maybe it's maturity finally seeing the forest through the trees, or maybe you've finally developed your bullshit detector. It's funny how high our bullshit tolerance is when we're younger; it's like the ends always justify the means, even though you're spending a dollar to make 15 cents. Isaac finally entered the woulds; he would prefer to stay home every night of the week, watching a movie over engaging with the human race. Isaac is also well conscious of the transition; it makes him happy to be alone, no one to impress; he doesn't have to be "on." Experts would say that Isaac needs psychiatric help; they would question, "Why wouldn't someone want to engage with other people?" It also aligns with the American interpretation of "sad, lonely, life-hating, and depressed." One of the youth's traps is the constant prattling and dwelling on what other people interpret you as. "What did they mean by that? How do they see me? Am I cool? Am I someone people want around?" The version of you trapped inside their head will inevitably remain well after you're gone. It's with this mindset that Isaac finds himself the winner of a contest. He doesn't remember signing up, but it's a chance to win a million dollars, so refusing would be foolish. As he arrives, his cell phone is collected, and he is taken to the green room where two college-age girls are also waiting. They wait for a half-hour in silence, and Isaac finally gets irritated and tries to open the door, but it's locked. One girl begins to panic, "I need my phone; this is bullshit!" The other girl is childlike, smiling in the doorknob at her distorted reflection. Isaac attempts to calm them down, but the girls keep irritating him by voicing their priorities that remind him of his life before entering the woulds. The three continually harass each other for hours before all agree to remain silent. That worked for about ten minutes before Isaac started lecturing girls how insignificant their priorities are. The girls take offense, and arguments follow. It's been around three hours, and one of the girls attempts to seduce Isaac, but he can't overcome his frustrations with who she is, and that what she cares about is so trivial. After more hours, they start behaving hysterically. Isaac wonders how they could have gone this long without being hungry, thirsty, or using the bathroom? One of the girls suggests that they might be dead, stabbing herself in the stomach with Isaac's swiss army knife he used but failed to open the lock. Isaac and the other girl look on horrified, but the stabs were ineffective; she was still alive and felt no pain. Isaac concludes that this is hell, and past versions of himself are torturing him. Nothing is more tormenting than living with your past self, a self you've run from your whole life.