5 Jokes a day 1/6/19

#Inmates eat holiday #steak during shutdown while prison #workers go unpaid... prisoners respond 'if it makes you feel better, the steak was over-cooked'... it didn't.

#NewYork now requires changing tables in public #men's #restrooms... I understand that some don't make it to the bathroom on time but men wearing diapers is a little extreme.

#Dentist arrested after attacking elderly #Massachusetts cab driver... in defense of the dentist, the cab driver had not been flossing.

#HillaryClinton meets with #Democrat 2020 hopefuls seeking her support, gives advice... says, never use #email, send all messages via messenger pigeon... she then pulled a chicken leg out of her purse and started muttering 'time to make America fat again'

#Florida girl whose #SAT result was flagged wants evidence of alleged #cheating... they responded, first of all, you spelled your name wrong... second, this isn't SAT, this is SETI, we look for aliens, you want #CollegeBoard

#Saudi women to get #divorce confirmation by text message... nice, Saudi Arabia does divorce the same way I pay my Verizon bill.