2. #BillGates wants to reinvent the toilet... I think someone printed out the source code for #MSVista and clogged their toilet trying to flush it.
3. #JeffSessions resigns from Attorney General... he'll now return to the Keebler Elf cookie factory.
4. #GirlScouts take legal action against the #BoyScouts... I know how this ends... in what will be the famous case of Girl v. Boy... girls will prevail using the girls rule and boys drool precedent.
5. #Trump denies knowing #LilJon... Mr. Jon responds... What?! OK!
6. 70-year-old in picture below is obsessed with playing #PokémonGo... he has sacrificed a lot... time, money, and virginity.
7. Dead brothel owner wins election for legislative seat in #Nevada... it was actually a total accident he was in the race... someone said election, he thought they said erection and then he died.
8. Classic Hollywood hunks get their very own #SexiestManAlive
ranking... I'm sorry, a little too #necrophilia for me.
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