5 Jokes a day: 11/01/18

1. I rewatched #StarWars #TheLastJedi last night...  it was worse than I remembered... I'd rather listen to Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes play their new stuff on Tatooine, dressed in a metal bikini, being hit on by an unemployed scruffy-looking nerf herder.

2.  Today is #AllSaintsDay... you know what that means... get your trading cards out kids... I'll trade you two St. Christopher's for one St. Francis of Assisi.

3. @carlyraejepsen released a new song called #PartyForOne today... I'm sure it sounds great but the cover art is a little TMI.

4.  Today is #WorldVeganDay... the world would be a better place if more people were vegan... more fresh water, less land for grazing, and better health... there are three types of people in the world... vegan, vewon't, or vetried & vefailed. 

5.  It's the day after #Halloween... otherwise known as... #Christmas... Sorry #Thanksgiving... Hollywood's out to get you I googled Thanksgiving movies and the options were mostly the rotten part of the tomato...