#Russian search giant #Yandex is making phones now... Russian phone help you post #Facebook... Russian phone help you selfie... Russian phone help you decide who vote for.
#Infants can recognize when someone is being a #bully... alright, I'll stop stealing infant milk... you're still a snitch for communicating non-verbally.
#Cuba to offer citizens full #internet access on their mobile phones... wow, Autotrader is about to have a whole bunch of 1950s cars uploaded.
Keeping #Friends is costing #Netflix $100 million... what a ripoff, my friends charge half that.
Screening of #RKelly documentary evacuated... smelled like urine... I didn't realize the documentary was 4D.
#GeorgeWBush & #MichelleObama appear to have a candy exchange when he slips a fun size candy into her hand... #Trump leans in, 'you know I have a full-size candy'... #BarackObama leans back, pulls a king size from his pocket, says 'that's cute'.
#AlexandriaOcasioCortez promises to pay her interns $15 an hour or more... that's way better than $8 interning with Paul Ryan... but it's all I could afford.
#facebook internal documents show its ruthlessness... Donna has been trying to lose weight, give her a break, it's been stressful at work.
#Disneyland
tower suggested as Legionnaires' disease source... I've said it before, with as much hair as #Rapunzel has, there's just no way it's not dragging on the ground picking up all sorts of stuff.
24 Amazon employees hospitalized, after exposure to bear repellent... too bad Ranger Smith, from Yogi Bear, didn't have Amazon... picanic baskets are on sale, three for $10. Oh, and the bear repellent stuff too.
Man admits to urinating on #Kellogg conveyor belt in Tennessee... I thought my corn flakes had a little more urine than normal... can't fool these taste buds.
#TomCruise takes on the soap opera effect... is that when your twin no one ever heard of comes back from the dead to kill your evil boss with the eye patch?
Do you ever check #SantaTracker in the offseason? I checked it last July and it said 'The Naughty North Pole'... come on Santa, gotta turn off location on that phone bro.
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